#111. Getting Old
Aug 10th, 2008 by Chaz
Before I turn the terrible, shrieking alarm off, I already know that it’s going to rain. My right ankle, both knees, and both shoulders burn with the kind of pain that’s only brought on by scar tissue, humidity, and mangled cartilage. Regardless, I roll out of bed - joints popping and cracking - and make my way to the shower. Somewhere between the second and third step, I feel the dregs of yesterday’s hangover: a subtle reminder not to push myself even though its been two days since the sake bomb karaoke shitshow that made me miss work the day before. I take a look at my haggard face in the mirror and tell myself that I’m getting too old for this shit.
Fair disclosure - I am not yet 30 and still, ostensibly, enjoying my “salad days.” However, like many folks in their late 20’s, I’ve begun to notice the foreboding and inconvenient signs of age creeping up on me. I’m not even talking about the overtly physical ones, like gray hair, worry lines or wrinkles. Or even the fact that my vision is starting to get worse.
No, I’m talking about the more insidious stuff. The kind of things that we took for granted not so long ago.
Like the ability to drink punch out of a garbage can and not spend the rest of the weekend sleeping off the hangover. Or being able to go for a short run without feeling your joints ache and creak.
Lets face it - my days of mid-week benders are, for better or worse, behind me as are my days of outrunning wolves.
Why does getting old suck? While there are many reasons, such as vicious three day hangovers, general metabolic changes, new and exciting health concerns (what do you mean I can’t have bacon? oh cholesterol…), male pattern baldness, etc., the real reason is that - deep down - we don’t want to die. All of the previous examples serve as a memento mori, constantly reminding us that the days of nearly responsibility-free fun are behind us and yes, we are getting old and will die. We have our moments of abject terror that we are wasting our lives away, reminded by every gray hair of our terrible cubicle-bound jobs and the nights lost to drunken excess. This, of course, leads to drowning our sorrows in drunken excess, which leads to more gray hairs and multi-day hangovers. The cycle continues…
In conclusion, no one likes getting old. Now get off my lawn, you damn kids! And if that ball lands in my yard again, I’m keeping it! And your “Facebooks” and “internets” too!
i know what you mean….i was in the marines for 3 years and i didnt knwo that my family has a history of (not bad joints) weaking joints with severe use well running 3-10 mile every other day has left me at 23 and hard to walk up the stairs i am slowing i can do the things i love when i was 18 WTF i have realized that we all die it sucks but i am going do the things i want in life even if it means hurting for awhile……. my motto put up or shut…… mearily cuase i want my fun still………i do agree with u
While the reasons for not liking the aging process (as listed above) are pretty universal, for women, there is the added burden of knowing that, in our (U.S.) society, the older a woman looks, the less “attractive” she will be thought to be, even though she may very well BE attractive. So this is another reason why for women in the U.S., aging is not particularly looked forward to…
In the U.S., youth is immediately equated with attractiveness, or at the very least, “more attractive”, versus someone that looks older. Which when you think of it, is just ludicrous. I’ve seen plenty of “young” women who really weren’t that attractive…no style, immature, silly, insecure, awkward…but hey, they’re “young”, so that’s all the matters to some people, right? And I’ve seen plenty of “older” women who are indeed attractive…confident, sexy, great style, smart, etc. But admittedly, there could be MORE older women that are attractive if only they didn’t allow society to beat them down. If older women believe society’s messages that they can’t possibly be attractive if they are over 40 years of age, it becomes self-fulfilling for many. They become depressed, feel competitive against younger women, and think “why bother trying anymore..it’s futile…I am just an ‘old woman’ now…” But in societies that VALUE and RESPECT older women, and that can see the beauty in women of ALL ages, there DOES in fact seem to be a higher number of attractive older women, and I think this is because of HOW these women feel about themselves; they feel more positive. Women in the U.S. need to stop internalizing the ridiculous, constant messages we are fed, that only “youth” can be synonymous with female beauty and sexual attractiveness.
Why is it that “wisdom” and confidence and greying hairs can actually be seen as making a man more “attractive”, whereas for a woman in the U.S., it’s the opposite? I think the underlying reason is very clear…men in the U.S. feel very threatened by older women, since older women are usually wiser, stronger, more outspoken, more sexual, confident, etc.. For many insecure men in the U.S., that is just too threatending…too scary. A younger woman is much less so. Hence these same men like to put older women down, put them in their place, in an effort to diminish their potential “power”.
Umm, wow. Gee whiz. Guys talking about aging. I’m floored. Tip of the day: try frownies.com for a cheaper alternative to botox.
Just found your blog, somehow, through the dating-bankers-anonymous blog mentioned in NYT today.
Like your blog header (or is it banner?). Though I think you should add SPAM to it (and buy Hormel stock, too — they can’t keep up with the recession-borne SPAM orders).
“older women are usually wiser, stronger, more outspoken, more sexual, confident, etc..”
These are all turn ons for me, so I’m very lucky, and have unlimited beautiful wild women to love. And you’re right, guys who prefer younger women are just pathetic and can’t deal with a real woman. I thought women in their 40s were great until I got older and found that in their 50s women get even better.
I like women in their 30s 40s, but they dont seem to like me. COUGARS ALL THE WAY!
well im a female….i just turned 23….when i was 18 i dated a 28 yr old we broke up when i was 2o. i thougt he truly loved me…..but now i think about it (we still keep in touch) hes still dating 18 year olds fresh outta highschool hes 33 yrs old now…..and that made me feel like shit as im getting older its getting scarier/ like some 1 said a few posts b 4 me “younger is more beutiful” ….i work at a bar n some drunk retard told me i look good for being 24……im fucking 23 asshole n is 24 fucking old…and mind u dude was like 35…wtf i hate getting old and all the stigma behind it