Shut the fuck up! No, I mean it. SHUT! THE! FUCK! UP!
Listen to me. I said take that goddamn thing out and listen to me!
YOU ARE WALKING DOWN THE FUCKING STREET! You are not doing anything that requires the use of your hands. You are perfectly fucking capable of lifting up your goddamn phone and putting it next to your ugly face.
Do you know that you look like an idiot? You’re walking down the street and fucking TALKING TO YOURSELF. You’re even making stupid little facial expressions. And, above all, you are completely oblivious to the fact that you look like a fucking crazy person.
Listen to me, this is New York Fucking City, okay? And in New York Fucking City, it’s pretty goddamn important to be able to tell the crazy people from the non-crazy people. This is just basic fucking survival, people!
So take the stupid thing out of you ear, already. I don’t care if it makes you feel like Bionic Commando. You make the baby Jesus cry.